This one is going to take a while to recover from… Our job was a simple delivery. We had a driver too. Most everyone opted to ride in the van. I decided to ride in the truck bed. Can’t say that was one of my all-time favorite decisions. On our way to the drop off point we were rudely accosted by a rather inconsiderate group of ruffians. Things looked pretty bad. Surrounded by fully armored thugs, armed to the teeth, sporting a giant hummer and a few other combat vehicles. We had a small flat-bed pickup and a beaten-up old van (it did have a gun on it I guess, but still…) The thugs all started charging the truck and prying the doors open! I heard some interesting things at that moment, you know, those last pathetic moments of a life-about-to-be-plastered-all-over-his-apholstery kind of things like, “Don’t shoot I have a wife and a new puppy! Please Do—” KERPLOOOOOSH!! I was sure that I couldn’t take them all on at once. I had to get out of there!
So… yeah, flew a truck today. Not sure how I managed that one. Good thing I did though, those guys were seriously packing. I was finally out of there!… that was the original plan at least. but once I actually had the truck in the air and looked back at the rest of my crew getting turned into ground meat, I thought that it might have looked pretty bad for me if I just left them to die without at least making a show of good faith. I figured I would swing the truck around a few times until they killed off Mr. Flesh Buffett, and Dogman. I wasn’t too worried about the pixie, he didn’t seem like the type to spread the word of my betrayal either way. So, hiding in the truck bed, I swung that motha’ trucker! It was surprisingly effective. Swaths of bodies flying all over the place. Keeping track of that darn delivery box was the real hard part. After a couple of swings Blood Man and the gang seemed to be looking a little better so I figured I’d leave it to them. In the mean time I decided to try to keep them alive as long as it wasn’t too much trouble for me.
Surprise surprise! That truck really did the trick! Talk about roadkill! We certainly left a mess this time.
We brought Jack the box… Turns out he was just thirsty? We just brought him his cooler so he could take a drink! I mean I’m not angry or anything, but an old dented drinking flask is not nearly as cool as a dangerous insect. I hope that drink was worth it for him.
(side note: the guy who offered us the job? not my favorite guy. I could live without seeing his face ever again. We ended up only being able to take our payment out of his “dignity account”. Jerk. We did get a nice hummer out of it though.)